Facebook Fail

Social media is a weird setting, when you think about it. An electronic world where individuals behave in ways they never would in the physical world. Where people gladly share personal information with complete strangers, or those they haven’t seen since childhood and never liked anyway. Where people comment, like, post, inbox and online chat with those they used to pick up the phone to or meet face to face, allowing everyone else they know to eavesdrop. A place where it’s no longer possible for passing, short-term friends or memories to drift out (or be cut out) of your life and get lost forever, as Facebook will always somehow bring them back.

Generally, in ‘real life’, people tend to rely on different facets of their character to get by in different situations – for example, most exhibit a different persona at work than they do on holiday. Behaviour will radically change between going out partying with close friends and going to visit grandparents. Nobody talks to their boss the same way they talk to their children. Yet on Facebook, all these boundaries blur, and all the separate components and companions in people’s lives come together in one very public space.

It started out as a great idea, but the longer it lives and the more it grows, the more potential it seems to have to bring out the worst in people, and the more distractions it produces to prevent them doing constructive, meaningful things with their lives. I’m also dismayed that it’s increasingly becoming all about corporate promotions and publicity seeking pages, rather than simply connecting ordinary folk.

I remember being very reluctant to join Facebook at first. Although I was a late starter, I quickly became sucked into the strange land of social networking like everyone else. Before I knew it, I was a poking, status-updating, photo-sharing, friend-seeking, sheep-launching fiend. But I’ve found myself going off it more and more in recent times, and I’ve noticed a lot of my friends doing the same. Some have had the good sense to disappear completely. I don’t know if it’s about me getting older, social media getting older, human behaviour generally being a mysterious irritation to me, commercialism, or the constant and unnecessary format changes (does ANYBODY actually like Timeline?!) requiring constant reviews of privacy settings, but for me, the novelty has most definitely worn off.

Facebook does still have some merits. It’s great for keeping in touch with those faraway friends that I don’t often get to see or speak to, and for getting back in touch with those I genuinely miss. I enjoy seeing the odd captioned photo, beautiful landscape, inspirational quote, funny anecdote or touching status. It’s fantastic to be able to share photos and videos of places or events with friends and family. But with the evolution of the internet and its wealth of online photo albums, data storage, file sharing, email, Youtube and Skype, Facebook could now be considered redundant even in this respect.

Having said that, I still log in most days, nose my way through the recent news feed, post silly things and communicate with people that I see regularly anyway. It’s a strangely addictive force, but it doesn’t come without its regular annoyances. Here are just a few of mine:

Airing Dirty Laundry

This can range from taking a thinly veiled dig at someone in a status update, to having an intimate, full blown argument with them in the comments stream. It also includes risqué photos and any gratuitous display of TMI (Too Much Information). Some things really should be kept to oneself. I guess we westerners can thank our celebrity culture, and role models such as Jordan and the Kardashians for the apparent loss of any sense of privacy and dignity seen on Facebook on a daily basis. I’m not a prude, but I am equally not remotely interested in reading the detailed personal, sexual, emotional or medical histories of distant acquaintances.

Negative Nonsense 

I know everyone has their bad days, and I’m not exactly Little Miss Sunshine myself a lot of the time, but sometimes Facebook serves to reassure me that I have never plummeted to anything like the depths of a pessimistic few. It seems some people are incapable of noticing or appreciating any of the goodness and beauty in life. These frequent posters will not only ignore their many blessings to persistently moan about their comparatively minor problems, but they will also ignore all of those who are genuinely worse off, while spitting unwarranted venomous hatred at anyone they consider to be more fortunate. It’s painful and often infuriating to read, but simultaneously strengthens my resolve to always retain some level of relativity, compassion and hope, even in my darkest hours.

Ego Fishing

This is a common one, which most people (including myself) have been guilty of on occasion. But again, it’s the repeat offenders who cause the biggest nuisance and concern. The most widespread example is the culprit posting carefully posed or self-taken photos (usually in a state of being very over or under dressed) which they would not share if they genuinely thought it was as ugly as they try to make out in the description (in the hope that someone will contradict them with showers of compliments). Some even shamelessly beg for likes and comments. This also applies to those many needy, leading and pleading status updates that purposely prompt readers to offer affirmations of worth and attractiveness, or tell you that you obviously hate them if you don’t copy and paste it as your own status. If that’s the kind of thing people base their friendships on, I fear the human race is in terrible trouble.

Collecting ‘Friends’ as a Hobby 

Whether it’s for getting ahead in Farmville or some equally pointless game, or purely to increase perceived popularity, there are those who add ‘friends’ they’ve only met for 5 minutes, or never met at all. They might send a virtual fence post, or make you look good, but don’t forget that these people then have access to your profile, friends list, possibly even job details, email address and phone number. I wonder why there’s such a problem with hacking and identity fraud…

Dull Details of Everyday Life

What is it about Facebook that compels some to state the obvious or drag everyone into their daily routine with an hourly running commentary? I reckon about 90% of posts are about where people are (made worse by the addition of the ‘check-in’ facility), what they’ve eaten (sometimes with pictorial evidence), how many hours they slept last night (and the reasons for it), and what the weather’s doing (even though you are often experiencing it for yourself). Then there are the regular updates on TV programmes, work schedules, traffic, today’s chosen outfit/hairstyle and other mundane trivia. Conclusive proof that small talk is always boring and awkward, even online.

Sexism/Racism/Homophobia/Religious Intolerance/Judgement In General

Of course everybody has their opinions and is fully entitled to them. I respect that, and the right to free speech. That does not, however, entitle anyone to aggressively shove them in everyone's face, criticise or deliberately offend those with differing opinions, disparage whatever someone else may subscribe to or believe in, or try to influence the thoughts and actions of others. Especially not through Facebook - it’s a social networking site, not a militant political forum. Find an appropriate outlet.

‘Raising Awareness’ of Injustices

Albert Einstein once said: "The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything." The operative word in that sentence is 'doing'. People seem to be under the impression that sharing a MEME, video, poster or petition of something worthy on their timeline means that they’ve taken action to change it. They haven’t. The problem remains the same, no matter how many more people see the post. In fact, it’s arguably a worse scenario when a growing number of people are made aware, yet still nobody acts to improve the situation. Some people don’t seem to see that passing on the burden through infinite cyberspace doesn’t absolve them, but rather implicates them.

Targeted Advertising

Firstly, I object to greedy companies snooping through my profile as a marketing tool. Particularly when they’re using it to torment me for being ‘32 and Single’ or suggesting I might want to buy a sweatshirt emblazoned with the words ‘Crazy Cat Lady’. Also, I’m sick of every other post these days being an advert containing the words: ‘All you have to do to be in with a chance to win this prize is like and share this post,’ thus ensuring that it will continue to contaminate my news feed in the days that follow. Make it stop.

Being told what I can and can’t like

I can live with (and ignore) the awful, cringey ‘pages you might like’ section, despite the suggestions being based on the fact that less than 0.02% of my friends also like them. What I can’t stand is the inability to list the things I do like. Some of my favourite books, films, artists, musicians and inspirational people can’t be named on my profile, simply because Facebook doesn’t recognise them, and I don’t want to take admin responsibility for creating a new page. It’s an online dictatorship, I tell you.

For now, I’ll continue my stale, love/hate relationship with Facebook, but I fear it’s reaching that stage where everything it does annoys me, and we may have to part company soon. Just don’t let me sign up to Twitter…

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